My mother had a brother

Jun. 2nd, 2026 08:30 am
susandennis: (Default)
[personal profile] susandennis
My mother had a younger brother who married young and then went to France for World War II and got killed. His wife remarried changed her last name and had a life. Over the years, as the eldest remaining relative that they can find, I've been contacted by veterans organizations asking this or that about Billy. It happened again yesterday. I don't know what made me answer the phone call but I did and a very nice old guy asked me to confirm some info they had about him. I did. And that was that. He was long dead before I was born and my Mom was not one to wax on about dead (or even alive ones, really) relatives. So my knowledge bank account about this guy is pretty lean. But mainly I wonder about a project that would have people calling people like me about people like him. Weird.

My mother also married a guy who was killed in World War II but I don't know where exactly. He was an only child. We used to go visit his parents when I was little. They lived in Oklahoma. They were a hundred years old then (it sure seemed to me) but had a great porch swing. I never get calls about him.

Yesterday afternoon Biggie was sleeping beside me on the couch. He was snoring loudly. And then, all of a sudden, he jumped up and RAN to the glass door. It was a second or so before I saw the reason. A nice big old fat bird was out on the terrace. Not one of those silly humming birds but a proper fat bird. He stayed out there for a long time. Hopping on the railing flying around. Biggie was on duty - sending stink eye signals the whole time and for some time after he left. That boy does love his birds. And that bird was sure lucky there was a door.

Today is water aerobics. And I slept late. So when I did wake up, I shot out of bed, into my swimsuit and managed to get in a lovely swim with time to spare.

I got an email this morning from Experian that my credit score had dropped. I checked Chase and BECU and while the scores are not the same, they are both fine 850+. So I went to Experian and clicked on log in. They wanted a password, then the answer to a question, then a pin number, then a secret code, but they never sent the text and I figured the next requirement was a blood sample so I just said fuck it. The only thing I buy these days that considers my credit score is insurance. All I got is car and I just paid it so fuck 'em. I actually should buy some renters insurance but I keep putting it off and one day I'll be dead and it won't matter.

I ordered 3 pairs of shoes from Zappos. They are downstairs in the package room and will be brought up here later this afternoon. I will keep one pair maybe or maybe none.

I have a collection of puzzle games on my phone. Each has a daily puzzle and I have become a slave to them all. Yesterday was the first day of the month and I got all of them done and even added one. About once a week some publication or another publishes an article that says that puzzles keep the brains of old people sharp. I figure if I can do a perfect month with each of these puzzles, my brain will be able to cut tomatoes. Now, wouldn't that be handy?! Of course, our tomatoes, here in the Northwest pretty much always suck so actually not that big a deal.

Today is also house cleaning day. But that's not til later. I have knitting and crochet to do and a good book to listen to and a ballgame tonight.

Julio is the perfect picture when he's sleeping.

PXL_20260531_211823484
[syndicated profile] askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I have recently lost a significant amount of weight and it’s definitely noticeable. People regularly comment on it in a positive way — “oh my gosh! you look so great” — and similar comments. I know that the comments are well-intended and people mean it as a compliment.

Unfortunately, the weight loss is a result of some health issues that I’m working closely with multiple doctors to figure out. The potential diagnoses range from moderately serious but treatable, to very serious and life-altering. I don’t talk about it with anyone at work because I get emotional and start crying, and I don’t want to do that at work.

My usual response is to just say thank you and move on. Occasionally, someone will ask, “How did you do it?” I’m sure they’re looking for an answer like a specific diet plan or surgery or a shot. The first time it happened, I blurted out, “I’ve been really sick, but I don’t want to talk about it at work.” I started crying and had to walk away. The poor woman was horrified and I was super embarrassed to have caused a scene.

Any suggestions for how to respond to comments ranging from kind and complimentary to prying and nosy?

People really need to think about this more often.

If someone has new haircut or a fun shirt, you can generally assume it was an intentional choice and compliments will be welcome. Weight loss is not that way, and sometimes it is upsetting, stressful, or caused by something bad.

That said, if someone compliments you, I think you’re right to simply say thank you and move on; there’s no point in getting into it at work.

But I also don’t think you should be embarrassed by your response to the coworker who asked how you did it. If nothing else, she is now much less likely to put someone else in the same position in the future. However, these are some other ways you could say it in the future:

* “Nothing I want to get into at work, but it wasn’t intentional.”
* “Well, for me it’s health issues. Nothing I want to get into at work, though.”
* “I’ve been ill.”
* “You couldn’t have known, but it’s a health thing and might not be good news.”
* “You couldn’t have known, but it’s a health issue.”
* “Stress and health problems, mostly!”

All of these reveal more information than you should have to reveal at work. So if you prefer, you could also say something like, “Honestly, it’s my least favorite conversation right now. But how is ___ (subject change)?”

(Also, “how did you do it?” is such a weird reflex for people in this situation! They already know the relatively limited range of possible answers. No one is going to answer with, “I found a box of magic beans behind the building and there are still some there if you want to grab them.”)

I hope your letter will be a PSA reminding people not to assume all weight loss is good news or welcome.

The post my coworkers keep asking about my weight loss — and it’s not good news appeared first on Ask a Manager.

TV Tuesday: TV Plus

Jun. 2nd, 2026 10:59 am
yourlibrarian: Dreamwidth Sheep with TV and Glasses (OTH-Dreamwidth TV Talk-seleneheart.png)
[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [community profile] tv_talk
Have you developed any sort of TV-watching habits? In example, these might be tied to specific days of the week, viewing order of pending shows, things you do when watching with someone else, etc.

Poll #34681 TV Watching Habits
This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1

Do you feel you have any habits tied to watching TV?

View Answers

Yes
0 (0.0%)

No
1 (100.0%)

Depends on the show
0 (0.0%)

If yes, when did these habits start?

View Answers

In childhood
0 (0.0%)

In adolescence
0 (0.0%)

As a young adult
0 (0.0%)

With a family or friends
0 (0.0%)

After a change in your life
0 (0.0%)

When you became part of a fandom/fannish about something
0 (0.0%)

After TV changed
0 (0.0%)

Something else mentioned in comments
0 (0.0%)

What do the habits relate to?

View Answers

Watching the show
0 (0.0%)

Preparing to watch the show
0 (0.0%)

Post-show viewing
0 (0.0%)

Being alone
0 (0.0%)

Not being alone
0 (0.0%)

Eating or drinking
0 (0.0%)

Games/activities during the show
0 (0.0%)

Location
0 (0.0%)

Scheduling
0 (0.0%)

Something else mentioned in comments
0 (0.0%)

Are the habits...

View Answers

Comfort related
0 (0.0%)

Entertainment related
0 (0.0%)

Socializing related
0 (0.0%)

Tradition related
0 (0.0%)

Practical in nature
0 (0.0%)

Have the habits ever been documented in some way?

View Answers

Yes
0 (0.0%)

No
0 (0.0%)

Are the habits something you hope to pass on/share with someone else?

View Answers

Yes
0 (0.0%)

No
0 (0.0%)

Yes, some of them
0 (0.0%)

Are any habits related to particular events?

View Answers

Yes, season premieres
0 (0.0%)

Yes, season endings
0 (0.0%)

Yes, when a show ends its run
0 (0.0%)

Yes, for certain guest stars
0 (0.0%)

Yes, annual events (awards, sports etc.)
0 (0.0%)

Yes, holiday viewing
0 (0.0%)

Yes, rewatches
0 (0.0%)

Yes, something else mentioned in comments
0 (0.0%)

No, none of these
0 (0.0%)

Witches, T. Kingfisher, & More

Jun. 2nd, 2026 03:30 pm
[syndicated profile] smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

Not Here to Make Friends

RECOMMENDED: Not Here to Make Friends by Jodi McAlister is $1.99! Shana gave the entire trilogy a Squee grade:

By the time I read book 3, I was amazed by the creativity in the storylines and surprised that I never felt bored revisiting the same month-long time period. The third book, Not Here to Make Friends, takes that creativity to a new level.

She’s the reality TV villain everyone will love to hate. He’s the producer tasked with making it happen. What could go wrong? A hilarious, heartfelt rom-com from Australia’s leading romance expert.

Reality TV producer Murray O’Connell is used to being in control. He’s the showrunner for reality dating show Marry Me, Juliet, and that means he’s the he controls the cast, the crew and the story. Until Lily Fireball turns up.

Lily is everything viewers love to she’s feisty, dramatic, and not afraid to cause a stir. Her villain narrative on the show should be the cherry on top of the cake of Murray’s perfect season, but what no one knows is that Murray already knows Lily. Not as Lily Fireball, but as Lily his former best friend.

Now Lily has thrust herself back into Murray’s life, and into the most stressful season he’s ever worked on. Why is she here? What is her agenda? And why can’t Murray just concentrate on his job, instead of fighting to shield her from hateful viewers – and keep her with him forever?

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

Snake-Eater

Snake-Eater by T. Kingfisher is $2.49! This was recently featured on a Get Rec’d post of recommendations that came from a convo I had with KJ Charles.

From New York Times bestselling and Hugo Award–winning author T. Kingfisher comes an enthralling contemporary fantasy seeped in horror about a woman trying to escape her past by moving to the remote US desert—only to find herself beholden to the wrath of a vengeful god.

With only a few dollars to her name and her beloved dog Copper by her side, Selena flees her past in the city to claim her late aunt’s house in the desert town of Quartz Creek. The scorpions and spiders are better than what she left behind.

Because in Quartz Creek, there’s a strange beauty to everything, from the landscape to new friends, and more blue sky than Selena’s ever seen. But something lurks beneath the surface. Like the desert gods and spirits lingering outside Selena’s house at night, keeping watch. Mostly benevolent, says her neighbor Grandma Billy. That doesn’t ease the prickly sense that one of them watches too closely and wants something from Selena she can’t begin to imagine. And when Selena’s search for answers leads her to journal entries that her aunt left behind, she discovers a sinister truth about her new home: It’s the haunting grounds of an ancient god known simply as “Snake-Eater,” who her late aunt made a promise to that remains unfulfilled.

Snake-Eater has taken a liking to Selena, an obsession of sorts that turns sinister. And now that Selena is the new owner of his home, he’s hell-bent on collecting everything he’s owed.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

Love’s a Witch

Love’s a Witch by Tricia O’Malley is $1.99! This is book one in the Scottish Charms series, which is set in Scotland and has some cozy paranormal elements.

From the New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Tricia O’Malley, a cozy romantasy about a Scottish witch returning to her ancestral village to break a family curse—only to clash with one stubborn warlock determined to protect his town from her haywire magic.

She’s hexed. He’s vexed. And for Scotland’s most magical small-town, their feud might just spell disaster.

Sloane MacGregor swore she’d never return to Briarhaven, but with her twenty-fifth birthday looming—the day witches come into their magic—her grandmother summons her and her sisters back for one tiny task: break the centuries-old curse haunting their bloodline.

Knox Douglas, Briarhaven’s grumpy mayor, has worked tirelessly to make his town a haven for magical folk. The last thing he needs is a cursed MacGregor wreaking havoc. It doesn’t matter he once crushed on her. For the sake of Briarhaven, Sloane has to go.

But magic has other plans—and in Briarhaven, love really is a witch.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

The Musician and the Monster

The Musician and the Monster by Megan Van Dyke is $2.49 at Amazon! This is the first book in a duology but also the fourth book in the Reimagined Fairy Tales series. It’s a Gothic Gaslamp fantasy romance with elements of Beauty and the Beast and Phantom of the Opera.

Music says things words never can. I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry I killed you.

Every night, Ceridwen Kinsley plays music on her rooftop for the spirit of her dead mother. A peaceful if odd ritual, until she witnesses a murder by something not quite human. The monstrous encounter earns her notoriety within the city and a visit from the reclusive Lord Protector Drystan Winterbourne.

Charged with protecting the backwater city of Teneboure by the king, Drystan is failing at his task, and he can’t afford another slip up. But when fate and the very monster he means to conquer bring Ceridwen to his notice, he seizes the opportunity and presents her with an offer: play music for him at his manor in exchange for the money her impoverished family desperately needs. Music eases the strain of his magic, and who better to hire than the woman whose tunes he secretly listens to at night?

At first, Ceridwen is put off by Drystan’s unkempt appearance and harsh demeanor, not to mention the odd ailment that plagues him. But as he embraces her passion for music and she draws the recluse out of his lonely tower, the two develop an unlikely attachment. Class lines begin to blur as fearful indifference shifts to unexpected desire, and Ceridwen yearns to help Drystan subdue the monster as well as provide for her family. However, the monster prowling the night isn’t their only enemy, and as terrible secrets come to light, protecting those they love may risk their lives and their hearts.

This retelling of Beauty and the Beast incorporates themes and motifs from Phantom of the Opera, and is set in a gaslamp fantasy world with strong gothic vibes. It should appeal to fans of romantic and atmospheric retellings and fairy tales by authors such as Hannah Whitten, Tessonja Odette, and Stephanie Garber.

While this is book 4 in the Reimagined Fairy Tales series, it can be read as a standalone.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

 

 

 

[syndicated profile] smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

This HaBO was sent in by Meg, who wants to find this romance:

It’s a recent book. Contemporary, possibly set in NYC or Boston.

He’s a tech genius or businessman with a speech impediment that he feels makes him unlovable. She’s the charming barista/waitress he’s pining for. She’s injured in a hit and run (possibly?) or ill and he takes her to the hospital and says they’re either engaged or married.

Help a bitch out, it’s on the tip of my brain and soooo frustrating.

This one is definitely ringing some bells for me.

Random Check-in

Jun. 2nd, 2026 09:44 pm
fred_mouse: drawing of mouse settling in for the night in a tin, with a bandana for a blanket (cleaning)
[personal profile] fred_mouse posting in [community profile] unclutter

It's been some months since we've had one of these posts, so I hope everyone is doing okay.

How goes the decluttering? Have you shifted anything out of the house? Found something to sort through? Had thoughts on things you can let go of?

Comments open to locals, lurkers, drive by sticky beaks, and anyone I've forgotten to mention.

Congratulations to everyone who has found and/or disposed on any clutter in the last weekthree months!!

Checkin!

Jun. 2nd, 2026 09:26 pm
fred_mouse: drawing of mouse settling in for the night in a tin, with a bandana for a blanket (cleaning)
[personal profile] fred_mouse posting in [community profile] bitesizedcleaning

Thanks everyone on your comments on the last checkin; fabulous to see so many people making small progress. I do not have the oomph to reply individually, but I wish I did.

Instead! It has been a little over a week since the last checkin, and time for another one. What is one small win you have had in the last week in making your house a home?

UK people: trans rights

Jun. 2nd, 2026 02:11 pm
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
At the time of writing, 41 42 46 MPs have signed the early day motion to reject the EHRC's new guidance:

https://edm.parliament.uk/early-day-motion/65938

Write to your MP to tell them to sign it! Praise them if they already have!

If you have Bsky, Trans+ Solidarity Alliance have a skeet about it you can boost:

https://bsky.app/profile/transsolidarity.bsky.social/post/3mnb3wyefxc2g

Scottish Trans (in collaboration with Trans+ Solidarity Alliance and TransActual, because the collaborative work going on here is so phenomenal) have an "email your MP to reject the EHRC code of practice" template form:

https://equalrecognition.eaction.org.uk/rejectthecode

The Hansard transcript of the response to Seema Malhotra's statement on the EHRC guidance yesterday is blistering:

https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/2026-06-01/debates/CE610C68-7093-454F-B897-AF008EE7E7A0/EqualityAct2010CodeOfPractice

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