Life is a combination of magic and pasta.

I feel bad that I only talk to Dad once or twice per week now. It's mainly because it sounds like it's a lot of effort for him to even speak since he's breathing heavier and it's difficult to understand what he says. I honestly wonder if he's going to make it to the end of the year. We'll see. Anyway, his 88th birthday is next Sunday the 13th and I thought it should certainly be observed so I texted the sister and this is what I got


Mind, no, she has no plans to visit me and/or bring Mom's ashes anymore and ok, so you've decided to take THAT particular weekend go fly off to visit your friend Carla in Denver again. So are you just going to ignore his birthday altogether and not even do something for him before you go or after you return? I...yeah I'm not shocked and anymore I don't even get the level of angry about it I used to. Honestly, whenever Dad's system decides he's had enough and we settle the details, I'm pretty sure that I'll be done with both siblings. I'm tired of the disappointment.

Consequently, I'm sending him a dozen NYC bagels and a pound of cream cheese that should arrive Thursday. I let the facility know about it and all he knows is that a "surprise" is coming. I told the person at the desk that he can share his gift with whomever he wants so to make sure to suck up to him. They thought that was funny and said they'd definitely keep an eye out.

I'd been good about dealing with the BS at work but I'm irritated with Bosslady for coming up with her brilliant plan of punishing some of the low-effort-reporting faculty by not awarding them supplemental funding but then completely flubbing the rollout of out her grand plan THEN is now letting everyone act like it's MY fault. Yeah, I don't make NEARLY enough to be the scapegoat for this shit. Fuck all y'all.

Ah, hope your Monday is a good bit better. Hugs n stuff.

I called Dad's cell phone several times yesterday and didn't get an answer. It didn't instantly go to voicemail so it was on. No clue why. I felt guilty for not calling the facility to check and then told myself NOT to feel guilty since he's in a safe enough space. But after more than a decade of being the only kid checking on her parents on a daily basis to make sure that they're ok, it's become ingrained. I was finally able to talk to Dad for a few minutes this morning and he said that the day before he did do PT and he had pancakes for breakfast today which he enjoyed.

There's no point in countering Sis's bullshit about "not getting help" and "needing a vacation" since she's always been selfish and bullying with small glimmers of being reasonable now and then. I don't try to talk to the brother since he's the one that stopped responding to me ages ago and he's a douchebag. Both of them married people as self-centered as they are.

I don't know how it's going to go with Dad and at this point, I'm going to just go through the motions and happy face for him for as long as I'm able. When he's gone and the initial dust settles, I don't see myself having anything to do with my siblings. But I won't take the blame or feel guilty for it. Because I've done enough.

I did find something interesting when checking into ancestry and seeing some of those little leaves. There was a newspaper article about Dad from 1950. I texted this clip to my sister saying that I thought she'd find it interesting and left it at that.


Sounds like Dad certainly didn't need BIL's bible study. He had plenty enough of it. I will have to ask if he was one of the ones that was baptized after his four years of study.

Sis called last night as she was getting off work and since she's the medical POA for Dad now, she gets the calls from the assisted living place. She reports that his "dementia" is getting worse. His what, now? I mean I know he has memory and processing issues but is when did we jump from that to actual dementia?

It seems that when he complains to me about his neighbor yelling through the wall about the noise, saying he's going to kill Dad...it...isn't really happening? At least that's what they say. I'm confused only because while it's getting increasingly harder to talk to him since he loses words and it's like playing 20 questions, he's been consistent in the description of situations.

Sis also pissed me off since she was lamenting about how "busy" she is because she's working more to make more money to get a house BUILT that's even ridiculously bigger than what she has and already doesn't need the obnoxious amount of space. She moved Dad to this place because it's in between her work and home but ever since Dad dared say he didn't want to do the bible study hooha (and Sis tried to act like I talked him into that), she's barely visited him. She even had the audacity to be slightly put out that he said he couldn't go to church on Sunday since he didn't feel well. Mind, this was AFTER she texted me to have me explain his confusing voice mail of which I let her know he's been constipated for days and one treatment didn't help so they were trying something stronger. Yeah, because him suddenly having explosive shits at church would have gone over SO well. Anyway, I digress.

She seemed surprised - and I hope GUILTY - when I told her that I talk to him multiple times a DAY and that I hope things are being investigated and now treated properly.

But if it is dementia, I'm not sure what to say in situations like when I talked to him at lunchtime today and he said he was up all night because the guy behind him was yelling.

Or maybe he wasn't? I don't want to doubt him since that'll just make him feel worse. It's been hard to process and I didn't sleep much at all last night myself, also because I couldn't get the temperature right inside and I was stressed about going back to work so my back was also twinging.

Thankfully only a couple more days and another weekend.

Oh, having good days and bad days with Junie. Doing what I can to try to boost her immune system

I had a feeling that the lugging around of the cat carrier would catch up to me. The back isn't out completely...yet...but it's trying its damndest. I took off Friday and rested and have been doing so since. The tell tale twinge in the usual spot in the back is still there so I emailed that since I have some use-or-lose vacation days to use in June anyway that I'll be proactive this week and take half vacation days Monday through Wednesday. My disability accommodation already in place allows me to WFH in the afternoon and taking the vacation time will allow me to stay at home and rest whenever I feel things going south. I'm crossing fingers that I can get it to chill and not go out altogether by mid-week.

Today I have a few things I really need coming from Target and will be very careful about lifting. I have some cat food coming this week that I hope will be delivered to my upstairs porch (if not, I'll see if Emily can roll by and bring it upstairs). Wednesday at lunchtime I have FreshDirect bringing some food and undoubtedly they'll come to the wrong door but maybe by then I'll be ok. If not and the guy doesn't drop and run, I'll see if he'll do me a solid and bring the bags upstairs. I'm purposely not getting a lot and I'm also getting some prepped food so I don't have to stand in the kitchen much.

While I've been somewhat down and out, I got a text from the cousin-in-law that I've been working with to discover my aunt's actual parentage. The DNA half-brother has been corresponding with him and he sent some pictures. Both the cousin-in-law and I were flabbergasted at this young picture of her half brother( Cut for mindboggling pictures )

Oh and cousin-in-law and his wife are traveling to Boise and will drop the bombshell on the auntie. To be a fly on that wall...