![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missdianeThe angsting I did before was just garden variety expected anxiety. Last night I had a full on panic attack. UGHH. I mean it shouldn't be surprising considering everything but it's still annoying.
I felt stuff building so I took half a xanax and got a short nap when trying to settle down last night. But then I was up and had all my classics - racing thoughts, overyawning (which the brain tries to interpret as respiratory distress), feeling trapped, thinking every slight twinge was IT. Emily has a baby cam on the room but I knew she was asleep so considering that she's already doing MORE than enough taking care of me and others, I wasn't going to wake her up to try to talk me down.
Different kinds of ASMR and other distractions weren't helping, I put on a "sounds for anxiety" that helped a little and then the boy started NAGGING me even though I knew he wasn't yet hungry. Guess the little doofus has some instincts. I laid flat on the bed and he KERFLUMPed by my side and turned on the purr engine to eleven. I hugged my weighted stuffed highland cow on the other side and after a while, things started to become more manageable. I was still hit and miss on the sleep until about 3am where I gave the boy a thank you squishy snack (tiny dishes and long silicone tongs FTW) and FINALLY conked out until about 7am where Emily was quietly shuffling about the downstairs area.
Emily headed off a few minutes ago to visit her Mom in the nursing home and then she'll come back, change my packed wound (she said yesterday that it's looking like some improvement and less "stuffing" was needed) and then go off to take care of signing off on the new account at TD bank for their Mom's money. So yeah, she's dealing with a lot and I don't want to overwhelm her since that would result in me feeling guilty and then whee, cycle of fun.
Fingers crossed for good news when we go back to the doctor at 9:40 tomorrow morning. If we can get to the point of replacing the wound stuff every other day or so, that would be a relief for both of us.
Also, our cleaning person that comes every three weeks should be due to come tomorrow afternoon. She'll have plenty to do. We're both trying to keep up on things but it's a LOT so it's good to have some help.
I felt stuff building so I took half a xanax and got a short nap when trying to settle down last night. But then I was up and had all my classics - racing thoughts, overyawning (which the brain tries to interpret as respiratory distress), feeling trapped, thinking every slight twinge was IT. Emily has a baby cam on the room but I knew she was asleep so considering that she's already doing MORE than enough taking care of me and others, I wasn't going to wake her up to try to talk me down.
Different kinds of ASMR and other distractions weren't helping, I put on a "sounds for anxiety" that helped a little and then the boy started NAGGING me even though I knew he wasn't yet hungry. Guess the little doofus has some instincts. I laid flat on the bed and he KERFLUMPed by my side and turned on the purr engine to eleven. I hugged my weighted stuffed highland cow on the other side and after a while, things started to become more manageable. I was still hit and miss on the sleep until about 3am where I gave the boy a thank you squishy snack (tiny dishes and long silicone tongs FTW) and FINALLY conked out until about 7am where Emily was quietly shuffling about the downstairs area.
Emily headed off a few minutes ago to visit her Mom in the nursing home and then she'll come back, change my packed wound (she said yesterday that it's looking like some improvement and less "stuffing" was needed) and then go off to take care of signing off on the new account at TD bank for their Mom's money. So yeah, she's dealing with a lot and I don't want to overwhelm her since that would result in me feeling guilty and then whee, cycle of fun.
Fingers crossed for good news when we go back to the doctor at 9:40 tomorrow morning. If we can get to the point of replacing the wound stuff every other day or so, that would be a relief for both of us.
Also, our cleaning person that comes every three weeks should be due to come tomorrow afternoon. She'll have plenty to do. We're both trying to keep up on things but it's a LOT so it's good to have some help.
no subject
Date: 19 Oct 2025 21:10 (UTC)Keep healing. Do you have a weighted blanket?