Life is a combination of magic and pasta.

I'm so sorry for your Mom. That's rough. Maybe turn 9-11 into a day celebrating your Mom? Remembering silly thinks she said or did. Eating her favorite foods or doing something she would've liked doing.

There's enough crappy stuff happening in the world already that I know if it were me that died, I wouldn't want people crying every year, I'd want them trying to find something to be happy about.

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grey853.livejournal.com

I agree. I'd like to think once people got over the initial grieving that they would remember me fondly, not drag out the prayer shawls on the anniversary of my passing.

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Well, if I was speaking for "collective Britain psyche" as a friend of "collective America psyche" I'd probably suggest that talking about it is a good idea. Not wallowing in it, but talking about it and actual feelings and reactions. It's okay not to be okay about it, and there's a lot to come to terms with. It's undoubtedly the biggest cultural trauma to happen to the country in half a century and that will need to be collectively processed.

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Our local community is doing a "day of discussion" which I'll admit is a lot more useful than having to scroll through the umpteenth image of the twin towers with all caps "NEVER FORGET!!!" all over them. The first can be productive, the second seems like wallowing - or for some of them, false patriotism.

It's been 15 years, people can start to process it on their own now. There are hours long shows on the nationwide networks reading all the names and having speeches at "ground zero" and such going on. It's just...enough...for me at least.

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Aaaand just after I typed that, I unfollowed a Trump-spewing friend on FB who also decided to post So I wonder if there's going to be an a'hole that wants to sit during the National Anthem on 9/11. Doesn't matter if that's their right that's just being a really deep scumbag.

Ya know what's also being a scumbag? Obsessing about who stands for the stupid anthem.

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Ya know what's also being a scumbag? Obsessing about who stands for the stupid anthem.

Exactly. We are not Germans in the Third Reich. Free will and ability to protest through peacable means (and not fall in line with everyone else) is not only a right, but one that should be exercised!

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err..actually I once pledged allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, it was in a rather patriotic crowd and it seemed prudent at the time to not stand out so I just sort of said it as best I could, when in Rome and all that.....

...anyway, point being I'm not sure it's a 100% fullproof method of discerning actual loyalty :-) especially as genuine outsiders just go "oh fuck - I better just play along" and most of the planet can passably fake an american accent for two lines.

Edited Date: 2016-09-11 05:50 pm (UTC)

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Ye gods!! And you're not even American?? I'm sorry, honey. That sounds like an awfully uncomfortable experience!! O_O

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nah it's fine, it was actually pretty funny, it was at the end of the Bunker Hill Tour and this was like in 2003 maybe during the Iraq War so "freedom" and "the enemy" in 1776 were being framed in a slightly modern overtly political context and the Museum Guide had already called out all the Veterans in the group so we could "thank them for our freedom" which we'd done. And they all looked like they were bikers in leather jacket and khaki.....so I courageously decided that being British was - broadly speaking - a state of mind, as nobody has ever made me vow anything to the British flag I figure I'm unaligned....and thus fine to become a temporary American

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LOL!! Well, since you put it that way...

*Beams*

Glad you were temporarily one of us. We aren't a bad sort. We just occasionally act younger than we'd like to think we are. Bless.

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I think most Americans also probably think "oh fuck - I better just play along" nowadays.

I remember when I was getting tired of doing it, I'd mumble nonsense - and even back then wouldn't say "under God" since it's not part of the original pledge (blame my Dad for teaching me that lol)

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threecee.livejournal.com

It's okay. I spent three years in school pledging allegiance to "the Republic of Forchistan" because that's what "for which it stands" sounded like with 30 kids mumbling it.

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LOL!! All hail Forchistan!

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bagsy job as Prime Minister of Forchistan.

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You have fun being in charge! Can I be undersecretary?

There'll be a rule that there'll be no anthems, no saluting and no pledges, yes?

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Well I was thinking our anthem would be Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love and we'd do the salute the aliens do in Mars Attacks and our pledge would be "by Greptars hammer you will be avenged'...but I defer to the guidance of my under secretary.

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All thingies must be voted on - though I'm loving the pledge especially and voting for it *snuffle* I miss Alan Rickman.

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Bless, honey...you do what you need to. Some of us will do a simple post (as I did), some will do discussions and those who don't wish to dwell on the day (and what it meant 15 years ago) shouldn't have to. I know how uncomfortable it can feel when everyone else is observing something and you aren't (for any reason under the sun). Tis all good by me and I try to not hold other people to some imaginary standard invisibly set by the internet version of the Joneses.

*HUGS*

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*hughug*

Sadly, it's getting easier to tell who is posting because it means something personal to them (like you and some others here on LJ and FB) and others that are posting because of that same friend mentioned about standing for the anthem.

For those folks it's all about false patriotism and DO AS I SAY OR YOU'RE A SHITTY MURICAN AND HATE THE TROOPS! Pretty much what Jim was talking about in his post.

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To tell the truth, I'm still gobsmacked and usually the first thing that pops into my head is how surreal it all was. I'm lucky enough to not have had any kin anywhere NEAR NY, NY at the time, but...to me, those shouting about patriotism and YOU MUST STAND UP are just as bad as those who took our towers and planes down and pretty much proves the terrorists' point. Which is horrifying on a lot of levels...

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Ugh...ok no more FB today. Another person posted a video where you don't even need to press play to see that it's showing the twin towers being struck and the carnage after. Makes me feel bad for those folks even closer who might not want to be reminded because of PTSD. I can't even imagine what they're going through right now - especially if they didn't go to their settings to turn off the autoplay

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GODS. Are you serious????

What the hell??

What is wrong with people??

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It wasn't the first one either. I swear it's YOU MUST RELIVE THE CARNAGE!!!

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spikesgirl58.livejournal.com

I think it's important that we acknowledge the day, just as I have always marked Pearl Harbor., but Pearl didn't keep me from adopting our Japanese son. What happened to the people was a tragedy, but it's more important that we take those lessons and move forward. *hugs*

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Acknowledgement is a-ok with me. However some folks are going wayyyy too far with reposting the videos and disturbing pictures to force you to relive all the upset.

Yep, moving forward, definitely important. Agree 100% *hugs*

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spikesgirl58.livejournal.com

Even here. I don't need such refreshers to remember what's important.

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davesmusictank.livejournal.com

It was a game changing day that is for sure - and yet still so sad.

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It is, but I wish we could honor the day without trying to relive and wallow in the day.

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Maybe to you it's 'reliving and wallowing,' but for others it's still part of the grieving process and will be for a long time. It's the single most tragic event to occur on US soil. 15 years isn't that long ago.
There were children speaking at the memorial yesterday who never knew their mother or father, they were too young when it happened, or some weren't even born. They've grown up in a very different world from you and me. Right now these collective memories of the day are all they have to connect with a parent. I say let them have it, let them hold onto whatever they can. Let them find the love in such a horrible day.

My cousin, a first responder, has a son conceived around 9/11 who had cancer. It's something that the children of first responders are being stricken with,(among other things) along with first responders, who themselves who a dying because of what they did. Walking on dust covered debris, finding body parts beneath their feet, watching seagulls fly in and feed on the remains...those are things you don't hear about in the news. Those are first hand accounts of just a few of the things that people went through after going to help. 9/11 is about those people too.

Once a year to think about those who lost their lives, those who are still suffering because of it, physically or emotionally... is little to ask. Still every one should do it in their own way.

I posted 'never forget' blogs on LJ. It was an expression of my feelings about the day. I still grieve, and always will, though even my emotions have softened.

Eventually people do forget and are forgetting. The memorials have decreased, flags aren't put up like they used to be or at half mast. Less people attend the memorial services each year. You may not be aware of that fact, so little by little it is fading away. People are done with their own grieving processes, though many still aren't and may never be.

If you're done with it, just don't watch, don't look, don't read or whatever. Just go do something else, that's fine. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty by anyone for doing so.

Someday 9/11 will just be a memory, relegated to the history books.

Everyone handles tragedy, loss and grief differently and that should be respected, just as someone who has been able to move on. We're all different, and need to let things go and say to each his or her own. Just don't hurt others who haven't moved on. Nothing wrong with that.

Edited Date: 2016-09-12 04:07 pm (UTC)

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njlorelei.livejournal.com

You can do whatever you want to do on this day. I have no problem with it. I think your blog poster Jim took it a bit over the top but if he feels that strongly, so be it. If you feel that strongly, so be it.

I did not post anything about 9/11 on FB. I'm not sure if I ever have. Just like I don't normally post on FB other days that I may be remembering something painful. It's just not who I am. On the other hand, I don't take issue with people who choose to use FB to post remembrances of 9/11 or any other anniversary of death or significant event.

Everyone grieves and reflects differently. I don't really think any of the people posting today want to relive that day. I doubt anyone who was there that day or watched tv coverage of that day will ever forget it. I'm sure some people do get overwhelmed at remembering it and end up wallowing in sadness but that is their right to do. I think for most people it is a day to reflect and remember the lives of all those who died. If it bothers you to see all the posts, just stay off of FB on days like this. You won't be affected by how others are spending the day and you can do whatever things you want to do on this day other than see 9/11 tributes and remembrances. There is no reason to feel guilty about your feelings.

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I have plans to designate 9-11 from now on as "Unplug Day" since I know that there'll still be those people that will insist on showing burning towers with falling people. I can't stomach watching it anymore and it's too difficult to have to wade through the bloody posts to find those who are communicating other things.

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To take an excerpt from your favorite blogger...

"Frankly, I have had enough of 9-11. Fuck 9-11. I'm not going to watch the shows. I'm not going to any of the memorials. I'm not going to the 9-11 sales at Wal-Mart. I don't want to hear about 9-11. I for damned sure am not interested in watching politicians of either party try to out 9-11 each other. I'm tired of this national 9-11 PTSD. I did my bit for revenge, I went to war, I'll remember the dead in my own time in my own way."

Maybe he should have the balls to go say those words right to the faces of the people whose husbands, wives,children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins died that day. They don't 'Celebrate' 9/11, they honor it and the innocent people who lost their lives.

If he doesn't want to remember, or be involved with the observances of 9/11, fine. That's his decision and that's his right. He could have at least posted something that was less hateful and venom-filled than that. He's entitled to his opinion and has his rights just like everyone else in this country.

But his words are deliberately hurtful to people like me who nearly lost family, who lost friends on that day.
How callous and thoughtless he was in venting his own selfish opinion, how disrespectful to the sufferings of others!

He could have said the same thing in a less mean spirited and hurtful way. Hey if he doesn't like something, or wants nothing to do with something. Fine! Just don't be involved. Go picnic, go do whatever he wants, but don't hurt the people who are still suffering from what happened on that day. It's a grief that so many have a right to, and to trample on that grieving process the way he did was Unconscionable.

If a person wants to avoid the memorials for that day, simply turn off the television or switch to another station, but don't stick a hot poker in the eyes of those who choose to honor 3000 people...not just Americans who died on a beautiful crisp clear September day, through no fault of their own.

Yeah, so he believes we got our revenge and should be done with it. He has every right to believe that. Just show some respect for those who are not in the same place he is emotionally and mentally.

Your blogger in my opinion is a whiney, self-centered asshole, who doesn't know the meaning of compassion. To deliberately insult those who are suffering a terrible loss, and will suffer the rest of their lives, tells me he's one bitter person.

Though I dislike that FB is removing posts, this one really deserved to be taken down. It was so hurtful to those of us with direct connections to the World Trade Center tragedy. It was just completely inappropriate and uncalled for, for him to lash out at the suffering of others.

He'll get his wish someday, as memories of that terrible day will fade and it will be relegated to the history books like December 7th, and even the bombings in Oaklahoma have. In the mean time, just leave it be and go on about his own business.

Edited Date: 2016-09-12 02:57 pm (UTC)

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He's not necessarily talking about the people that are in mourning. But to bombard FB with images of the towers burning and video and people falling - how can that not cause further PTSD to the people - like Jim, who fought in the war or people that were there and barely escaped? It's got to be horribly difficult for them to have the scab picked off every year and be told that maybe they need to go offline for that day because people feel a need to post the carnage. Not the simple memorials, but the ones that go over the top.

Memorializing is not the same as obsessing and some folks don't know the difference.

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If it's something you don't want to see, then don't look! No one forces you to do so. You can change a channel or just ignore social media for the day. Go read a book, go to the movies, picnic...whatever.

What's over the top to him...may not be over the top to the person posting the images. He needs to learn to just let things go. If he doesn't like it, ignore it. No one twists his arm and makes him look. It's a matter of choice. He should choose not to look at what others choose to post.

Is the 9/11 memorial ceremony in NYC over the top? Maybe it is to some, maybe some are tired of it. Then don't watch it. That ceremony is for the families, it's for the people who still grieve. I still grieve. I watch that ceremony every year and wait to hear the names of friends who died to honor their memory. I post 'never forget' to honor them.

Still your blogger's words were pretty clear; there's a lot of anger in him. But he was definitely hurtful, over the top, and completely out of line with such disrespectful words. He could have made his point without being so venomous... way differently to get his point across.

If he's suffering from PTSD, and I think he is; then he needs to get some help. He's got a lot of anger in him and that's not good. He deserves to find some peace and I hope he finds it.

Edited Date: 2016-09-12 04:21 pm (UTC)

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If it's something you don't want to see, then don't look! No one forces you to do so. You can change a channel or just ignore social media for the day. Go read a book, go to the movies, picnic...whatever.

I could say the same to you when it comes to this post. You could've ignored it, scrolled past, but you didn't.

Maybe you need to learn to let things go too. I didn't make any comments on the many posts you made yesterday with large graphics and lists of the dead or ask you to put them behind a cut- out of respect for your pain. But to others, like myself, bringing this up every year, tossing it in my face no matter where I go and then to be told to go away for that day isn't any more considerate to my feelings at not wanting to relive the pain or bring up the fear.

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