Somehow they wonder why I'm often bitter

[missdiane]

Those of you that have been putting up with me for a while know about my previously shitty director who was as bad as my current shitty director at ignoring pretty much everything I sent. I would grit my teeth when others would say that I need to understand that he's dealing with a lot with his family, particularly his very elderly mother. Yeah, maybe if it didn't go on for years and years and if he didn't fulfill his obligations to other people he worked with. If it was too much for him, he should have stepped back down to faculty long before he actually did.

So fast forward to more recently where I've been gently poking him for more than eight months to renew his project. I wanted to get it going before it expired at the end of September so there wouldn't be a gap in funding but he just kept dragging his feet. I sent a bulk reminder yesterday to him and other faculty with pending projects and I got an email back from the business person in the Plant Bio department that it might be "a while" before he responds because his mother finally died (at 99) the other day. Ok, fine, though I was now getting agitated since I knew the sympathy train was coming again and that train is longer for some people and sometimes and engine and a caboose for others.

Today I get an email from the person that was my temporary boss until Bosslady came along to a slew of people letting us all know about the death of his mother and on and on.

I got upset then and thankfully it was time for me to head home for lunch. Because aside from Elaine going around and getting people to weigh in on my sympathy card (mostly in Elaine's handwriting) and I suspect she (and maybe a couple of scant others) chipped in for a small gift basket and donation to the meals on wheels, no one knew anything. I was given no grace, no time, no understanding that it might be a bit for me to get back to things. I got my 3 contracted days of bereavement leave and then it was "Good, you're back. So sorry to hear about your mom, so about this thing I need..."

I'd also chalk it up to faculty being held on a higher pedestal than staff - which does happen - but the week after I returned, I was included on a building/campus wide email about a staff member in the offices below mine losing a family member and for everyone to keep them in your thoughts and donate to them. Hell, I'd never even heard of the person that works downstairs.

My circle at work of anyone who knows or gives two shits about me wouldn't even fill up the seats in my compact car if I drove. But hey, I'm just there to work. I'm just the useful tool that is just the expert at her job when it suits you to give me backhanded compliments about how the place would collapse if I weren't there.

And one day I'll find a better job. I need to stick around another 4 or so years to get the full 25 years for retirement eligibility. Hell, I'm tempted to apply to a position down in Camden.

Comments

[halfmoon_mollie1]

Bitter. You have every right to be.

[missdiane]

I saw the obit and she died an entire week ago. I mean exactly how many weeks or months do I have to give him before he's expected to do his job?

[threecee]

You don't understand. The peons don't have any real feelings, so they don't need the consideration that higher ranked people who are very sensitive do.

When I was working, it was standard for the high-ups to take a week or more off, get flowers and cards from staff at each of 8 buildings and two additional departments, and not be expected to jump back in to work when they got back. When my mother died, granted she lived with me, and had been in the hospital for a week, so it wasn't a shock like it was for the Director whose mother "was fine when I phoned her last month", a few friends said how sorry they were, sent flowers, and took personal time to come to the brief graveside service. No official recognition.

Mom died on a Sunday night. I took berevement leave on Monday to stay with Dad because he was very sick himself, and had just gotten out of the hospital four days before, and I also had to deal with calling family and making sure the funeral was set up properly. Then, since the funeral couldn't happen until Thursday,(cremation in this state has a 48 hour hold for the coroner's approval), I worked Tuesday and Wedensday. Was off for the funeral Thusday and took Friday off to deal with all the financial stuff and keep an eye on Dad again because he was not well after the funeral. So 3 berevement days in one week, but not consecutive, so Business B***h charged the Monday to PTO and I just didn't get the third day.

[missdiane]

Yep, that tracks. It's particularly disgusting that fellow peons like the business bitch treat you just as badly as the higher ups do. No solidarity at all

[threecee]

Oh, the Business Bitch wasn't a peon. She was the most powerful member of the Director's "Cabinet" and had him completely whipped. She just did whatever she wanted because the rules only applied to people she didn't like. Temperment and morals of the Orange Blimp, but with a brain.