A nice topping of anxiety to go with the depression

[missdiane]

Well today is shaping up quite nicely and I mean that in the worst possible way.

Last night Dad had said that Chris was going to have him meet with someone today for some kind of assessment. I had thought it was to get him a regular doctor but no, it was a Medicaid assessor and Sis seriously dropped the ball by not letting me know so that we could properly prep him. Because it's entirely possible he might get rejected for not having enough need to be in assisted living and it's not like any of us can continue to foot the extra $2500/month to keep him there.

In Ohio at least, it says "To receive any waiver services in Ohio, you must show that you require an intermediate nursing facility level of care. To do that, you must show that you need hands-on assistance with at least two of the following activities: bathing, dressing, eating, grooming, moving around, using the bathroom, and taking your medication. You can also meet the level of care requirement by showing that you need skilled nursing care for a medical condition."

The medication definitely since his memory is swiss cheese but Sis didn't let him know that he wasn't supposed to try to convince anyone that he was in fabulous shape and can do all kinds of things for himself. FFS. I hope that they didn't rely on his opinion of how he is functioning and also talks to Sis and professionals. They also have my number which I do hope they call. Because for sure "eating" would fall on the need to have someone there. He can't cook for himself (he burned up one microwave at the apartment) and even with Meals on Wheels, when he was on his own, he sometimes would think he didn't need to eat, then he'd put them in the fridge and didn't know how old something was.

I hope things can be salvaged but along with the depression, my anxiety is well and truly through the roof and it doesn't help that Dad now thinks he's going to get "kicked out" of his new home. Fuck.

Comments

[threecee]

Ugh! Problems just keep coming at you.

This may not be a problem. They should make your dad prove he is oriented. I almost failed that at my last Medicare exam because I got my age wrong by one year and said the last President was "the fat orange crook" instead of his official name (I thought that was his name). They should make him actually do things, like walk and take off and put on shoes, not just brag about what he can do. They should also be asking the staff, who want to keep him for the money, and his family.

I hope all goes well and you get a chance to have a breather before another crisis hits.

[missdiane]

This is a situation where we need for him to convince them what he CAN'T do and he had the opposite idea. He has to get two items on the list that he needs hands on help with in order to get Medicaid approval for assisted living. I'm hoping the assessor listens to more than just him when it comes to determining this.

The poor guy was so upset that he didn't eat lunch and he can't afford to skip meals. He was talking to the staff at the home and they told him that he "wasn't going anywhere" which I hope that means that they were convincing them that despite Dad's claims that he's doing everything wonderfully, that he does need help and wouldn't do well if he weren't there.

[threecee]

Unless they are under orders to cut as many people out of the program as possible, they will probably take other opinions over his. I'm sure they are accustomed to people insisting they can do things they can't.

My parents were like that. Desite Mom having bad CHF and CPOD and Dad being on chemo and being down to 98 lbs because of the side effects, you would have thought they could leap tall skyscrapers in a single bound, outrun a speeding bullet, and stop a runaway train with one hand, if you believed what they told the nurses.

[bluecatartist]

Oh no, more fvckery w. your dad! @#$% I just hope all goddesses and gods look down and he can remain where he is and where he seems to be enjoying himself. JFC, can't any of us just catch a break?

[missdiane]

THe folks at the facility told him that he's "not going anywhere" and hopefully Sis has called to confirm that they convinced the Medicaid people that he needs help. He is comfortable and happy and needs to be there and we need it too.