Just one of those annoying little things

[missdiane]

Some things you dismiss but they'll inevitably come cropping back up to nag at your brain. Short background: they are trenching around the outside of our building at work and there are a crew of guys that put sailors to shame with their cussing and aren't exactly the most eye-candy worthy of dudes (Joe quipped that Larry the Cable Guy was working and man, one of them really was a spitting image lol). 

Anyway, yesterday something Elaine said just kind of got under my skin, though it's something that's my issue. She joked that none of the guys outside are at all good looking enough to bother to tell our work friend Latisha to check out. The reason that it got me is that folks don't ever ask about that aspect of me. Whether I've been married (I think they're rather aware that I haven't), whether I've been in a long term relationship (I think they're assuming I haven't, which they would be correct), or whether I've been in a short term relationship (fyi, nope, nothing there either). I know I've mentioned about some actor or something being a hottie and such, but I guess it makes me wonder why no one asks. 

It's funny because I don't even really want anyone to ask because it's embarrassing but it makes me feel like there's something perceived as wrong with me since no one broaches ever the subject at all. I gave up on the concept of bothering to make any attempts at that stuff years ago but ages of social norms are difficult to completely dismiss. 

Comments

[plant-lady60.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I love my husband, but when I married him, I had no idea he had Autism. It wasn't as obvious, at first and the whole time I was pregnant, he was gone on his job a lot-3 weeks gone, 1 week home, the whole almost 10 months I was pregnant. It wasn't until after my daughter was born it became more obvious. Then, his oldest sister told me on a visit to come see us and the then baby.

He can be hard to relate to and communicate with. The older I get, the harder it gets and the less patience I have, especially dealing with my troubled child and all of her shit! There are times that I wish I had never gotten married or had my daughter, even though I love them both. But the amount of time and effort I've had to put in while not getting a whole lot back-it makes me feel empty inside, at times.

So there you go. At least you will never feel ANY of that. Feel fortunate, my friend. Sometimes, a relationship and kids are a handful that can be exhausting emotionally and psychologically.

[missdiane.livejournal.com]

And he loves you, right? I've never known that. Ever.

[plant-lady60.livejournal.com]

I know this may sound like a pity-party thing, and I'm not trying to make it sound that way, but I have no idea if he loves me. I know at one time he did, but now? Who knows? It may just being used to someone, like an old blanket. That's how long marriages can get. I've talked to many women friends who've been married a long time. After awhile, it's like a roommate that sleeps in the same bed....