Well today is a delight

[missdiane]

It's Mom's birthday today so I had already planned to take the day off. Thank goodness that I did because I got a call last night after 8pm from the aide at Dad's facility because he had pain in his ribcage and he'd vomited. I'd talked to him a couple hours before where he wasn't feeling great and was going to go to bed early. The aide called Sis first since she made a point of changing the primary medical contact to her. Her solution? Give him some toast.

You have GOT to be kidding me. This is a guy that never wants to go to the doctor and it was the first time that he'd even used the panic button there. There is no overnight nurse on duty (seriously?) and so they couldn't take his vitals, so I said since he's requesting to be taken to the hospital, I'll respect that. They called for the squad and Sis called me and was complaining like nobody's business. They wanted her to come over but oh no! there's a tornado watch (a WATCH, we're from Ohio, you know that means jack shit). She also pissed and moaned saying he's just nervous about the weather which I said he didn't sound that way all the times he called me that day.

The reality is she was pissy that he was interrupting her precious birthday. The one where she posted pictures of her and her husband going out to dinner the night before but had told Dad she was "too busy" to do anything with him.
This is getting so frustrating since this is the text conversation with her so far



FFS, DO something. Poor Dad needs an advocate and the hospital is down the street from where you work. My last conversation with him, it sounds like he's going to be admitted. So yeah, I'm sure some TOAST will fix everything.

So it's been quite fun.

OH MY GOD, this is her answer. SO USELESS. I'm so so angry


Well, in the meantime, for Mom, I popped out in between the shitty weather to go get lottery tickets and scratch offs since that was her thing.

Comments

[spiffikins]

Ugh - I mean I get that this is probably mildly inconvenient for her - but that's the deal when you have someone who depends on your for this stuff?

And yeah - when you have someone like your Dad, who never admits to feeling bad enough to be worth going to the doctor, say "I need help" - you take it seriously. Because either a) it is different/scary enough to make him think it is serious or b)something has changed in his way of thinking that makes minor things scary - and either of those things is New!Different! and should be looked at?

[missdiane]

It’s like ever since he said he didn’t want to go to the extra church stuff, they stopped caring about him. Jesus would be so proud. I am sure. he’s being admitted, but she is correct that the ER doesn’t answer.

I keep calling back in the main desk person does check and he hasn’t been assigned a room yet, so I will call back when he’s got a room and maybe the nurses desk in that area can get me a better status update since she clearly doesn’t give a shit about her father anymore

[spiffikins]

When he is admitted and you are able to talk to someone - maybe mention the delusions he's been having and your concerns about that? Every data point helps and if he's getting tests done...throw a few more on there too, eh?

[missdiane]

Copy/paste update

I'm the secondary POA so when I was FINALLY able to get hold of someone in the ER just now (they're waiting on a room to get him admitted), they were able to give me the update so far. He has a bowel obstruction (not sure if partial or total) and may likely need surgery. They're giving him fluids and such which I'm very glad for that.

[spiffikins]

TOAST WOULD TOTALLY HAVE FIXED THAT!

I hope your sister feels bad!

[missdiane]

LOLLLL! I just thought the same thing. If sis annoys me on text, I'm SO SO tempted to say "but I'm sure they'll just give him some toast and he'll be fine"

I hope guilt is eating her up. I haven't texted her to tell her anything because I don't want my head to explode if I get a reply showing once again that she doesn't care. Fucking narcissist.

[spiffikins]

yeah, best not to raise your blood pressure :D

[missdiane]

At some point, I may post this to Facebook with no comment
https://youtu.be/SHptn_3RyYE?si=5OCZ3xuu_DrNBPG8

[threecee]

If the hospital is saying he has AFib, then he is going to need tests (some of which you wanted anyway) and probably new meds (NOT toast). A day or two in the hospital is probably a good idea. My dad had this.

Medline Plus: "Atrial fibrillation, also known as AFib or AF, is one of the most common types of arrhythmias. Arrhythmias are problems with the rate or rhythm of your heartbeat. They can cause your heart to beat too slowly, too fast, or in an irregular way."

It can take hours to actually get a bed in a hospital, depending how full they are, and how closely they want a patient watched. Mom was in the ER for 16 hours before they could get her a bed in the ICU. They wouldn't put her in a regular room because she would be further from a Code Blue team and have less constant monitoring.

Make sure you are on the HIPPA permissions list so you can get full reports. You might have to tell the nurses that your dad is confused so they ask him if he wants them to tell you how he is in a way he understands to say yes to.

Your sister needs a tornado to drop a house on her. (Oz reference)

[missdiane]

He's had flutters and other issues for many years so he's probably had it for a while

I'm the secondary POA so when I was FINALLY able to get hold of someone in the ER just now (they're waiting on a room to get him admitted), they were able to give me the update so far. He has a bowel obstruction (not sure if partial or total) and may likely need surgery. They're giving him fluids and such which I'm very glad for that.

[missdiane]

Also, yep, she and her shit husband need to be squished under a big ol' house

[halfmoon_mollie1]

I am so sorry. I know your sis isn't willing to do the work, and I know next to nothing about How Things Work but would a social worker be able to help? It's hard for you because you are far away, I know.

I can't imagine how you and your sister were born to the same parents.

I hope the lottery tickets come through for you! A silent salute to your Mom!

[missdiane]

You and Emily think alike since she suggested a social worker earlier today. I don't want to pester him right now since I'm sure he didn't get much if ANY sleep overnight but if he calls me, I'll explain what I know and boost his mood the best that I can.

Well, it's not like the brother is doing jack shit either. Middle kid for the win again. Woo.

I told Mom's picture (as I lit the "money") candle that if she sends good juju to get a lottery win, I'll make sure karma is nudged along. And considering how it would be smiting Sis, she'd be up for that.

[threecee]

There are apparently geriatric care managers who can help find care, follow up on how person is being treated, and keep the family informed. Not sure if it is what you need but sounds like it might be. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/geriatric-care-manager.html

Good luck with the lottery tickets!

[missdiane]

As long as he's able to go back to the assisted living place ok once he's done with his hospital stay, they have most of that. But I'll bookmark it if I need it later. Thanks.